Surgery Day!

Day 1-

Today is surgery day. I have to be at the hospital at 6am for a 8am surgery. I’m not sure how I feel today. I hate that I have to have this surgery but I am more anxious about the IV as I hate them and the amount of pain after the surgery. When I went for my Pre-ops, the nurse was telling me about Femoral Blocks and Epidurals for post op pain so I’m really scared of the after pain. I keep wondering if this is the right way to go, but I also know that I can’t put my life on hold anymore, and that I can’t keep up with the pain either. However, for the most part I am excited to know that this might be the year that I finally get back to my life that I’ve been putting on hold much too long. The past 3 years I’ve had 2 other surgeries for the pain and nothing works in the long run. I’ve had to put off too much of my life and it depresses me. I hope that today is a new start… a new chance for me, a new chance for my family whom have watched me be in pain as well. I need a new start, a chance… I just wish it wasn’t this. I wish that a knee replacement, be it a partial or full, would not be the new start of my life, or at least feel that way. Ah well, it is what it is as I say.